Close, but no cigar

"I'm leaving you."

He doesn't know yet. He's gone for the weekend, camping. I'm sorting memories and things: things to keep, things to leave. So many, things. The stereo soothes. Music gets me through...fills the spaces...sparks the soul, letting me know that yes, I am still alive in there.

It's been a long time coming...but we have arrived. We can go no further. I can stay no longer. The decision has been made. Sealed in the heart...

Things are happening faster than I had imagined. Last night, I found (with a little help from my friends♥) an apartment downtown... Available October 1. We did a walkthrough, spoke with the landlord and I am returning tonight to fill out an application.

I am scared out of my mind. Where is my mind? I am dreading the conversation upon his return. Even more so now, as he told me today before he left that his boss was talking about laying him off next week. Though it's not for certain, it still makes me feel like that much more of an ass.

My heart is racing.

My lungs are shrieking.

My cat is shedding.

Valium... Gin... A big fat Cuban... Oh the endlessly tempting options at hand...

You have to consider everyday happens only once. You must not waste a single one. There will come a time when you will want more time so make sure you spend wisely. ~ BP

Missing

For a moment there,
she thought she'd lost herself.

Then, she realized,

"It's true."

I Told You I Was Freaky Baby

Let's make two life size cardboard cut outs of our bodies and then pose them into sensual positions...

Bird's Eye View

My sister is visiting for the week... we ended up at the North Island Recovery Centre, which is a non-profit organization that looks out for the Vancouver Island wildlife who are injured, orphaned or otherwise ill....


Albino Raven...

"NIWRA became internationally known when a local farmer unknowingly left a euthanised cow in a field for the eagles to eat. The cow had been euthanised with a barbiturate and should have been buried. Neighbours of the farmer began calling NIWRA when they discovered eagles lying lifeless on the ground. Due to the tremendous community support and the media, NIWRA, volunteers and veterinarians were able to save and release 25 of the 29 eagles that were found."


These eagles will eventually be released into the wild...


Teeth & Bone...

Silhouette...
Emily... what a cutie.


My own little wild animal...


Parksville Beach...

Sunday Dinners Make The World Go Round

The warm rich aroma wafts through my nose as the Spanakopita cools, prompting me to pour myself a glass of red wine and sip on some anticipation. I am exploring the world Sunday nights in an attempt to bring home, home. Sunday dinner's at mom's... cooking together, sharing a meal and family-somewhat-togetherness, is something I have been missing. It started last weekend in Thailand... a green curry coconut dish with chicken, sweet potato, kaffir and jasmine rice...recipe compliments of the French artist I know who cracked Gabriel's secret code. Tonight, is Greece.... with the Spanakopita and Horiatiki Salata...aka Greek Salad. I didn't have time for Baklava. And I aspire to make it to every country. One big global culinary experiment. I love ethnic food, I really love cooking and I really really want you to come over for dinner because I have way too much Greek food over here...OPA!!!

Coach Ain't Nice

Last night I thought I was dying. I came home with dried tears plastered to my sweaty face. Our derby coach, whom we love to hate, is making us beg for mercy and it was the first night I began to clue in as to how much more work I have to do on this nearly-thirty bod to get up the speed, endurance & strength I need to be a full force to be reckoned with.

I lay panting on the dead straw grass by the track, my heart clawing herself out of my ribcage. My muscles collapsed after twenty laps of hell and sharp corners. Before all of the drills and drops and slides and collisions. I smashed into my teammate full force when she suddenly stepped into my path. It was either her or the bordering pile of gravel. There wasn't much time to think about which one would be worse, in the end I took her out. Or should I say she took me out. Either way, it felt like I hit a brick wall at 100 miles per hour. To top it all off, coach made us run around the entire loop in our socks, hard cement vibrating our knee joints. I have not pushed my body to that extreme in a long time nor swore to myself such obscenities. But I lived to whine about it today and am in much less pain than had been expected.

We have scored a sweet deal at the gym for September and I've decided to give it another go. I don't mind gyms (when I can actually get my ass to commit) however I do mind crowded gyms and this one tends to be busy. Who wants to wait for equipment, especially in good weather.


I'm putting together a playlist to work out to. I've decided Google, you've let me down. I'm done googling you for good workout music. I mean, some of the discusting vomit you spew up... I refuse to workout to the Jonas Brothers! Or Justin Bieber. It's based on personal preference yes, but holy mother of Jebus is there anyone out there that has even a tiny similarity? Please lord.

I'm kind of in a hip-hop, rap, electro dance mood these days because it pumps me up and that's about all I need right now. I like the beats... Love it or hate it...it's a work in progress and, for a small fee, is available for your listening pleasure on the sidebar.

Beautiful - Eminem
Not Afraid - Eminem
Love Lockdown - Kanye West
Sexy Chick - David Guetta ft. Akon
Dynamite - Taio Cruz
Everybody - Rudenko (radio edit)
Dirty Picture - Taio Cruz ft. Ke$ha
Stronger - Kanye West
Break Your Heart - Taio Cruz ft. Ludacris
Memories - David Guetta w/ Kid Cudi
Winner - Jamie Foxx
Body Bounce - Akon w/ Kardinal Offishall
Whatta Night - Ricky J
Pursuit of Happiness - Kid Cudi w/ MGMT
Run This Town - Jay Z & Rhianna
Yes - LMFAO
My Chick Bad - Ludacris
Electric Feel - MGMT
Give It To Me - Madonna
Love The Way You Lie - Eminem

What songs pump you up?

Human Meat Package

PETA's latest shockvertising efforts at Times Square... for their Meat is Murder campaign. "All meat comes from somebody."

If that doesn't make you lose your appetite...

On Your Street

Give me goosebumps...

Purple Progenitors

"We inhabit the blue planet, but our knowledge of life underneath the blue surfaces of the ocean remains surprisingly limited. In reality, investigations of marine life have just begun, and it is only now, when we can utilize custom-built research ships and the finest modern technology, that we can learn how ecosystems in the oceans are structured and function."

Living fossils found along the undersea mountain chain that divides the Atlantic ocean lengthwise:

Purple Progenitor

"One of three new species of enteropneust acorn worm discovered during the mid-Atlantic survey, the creature has no eyes, no obvious sense organs, and no brain. "This is about as primitive as you can go," team member Monty Priede said. But, he added, "they've got a head end and a tail end—the basic body plan of vertebrates." Such living fossils 'represent the first mobile animals.' "

Interesting, don't you think?
More on the MAR-ECO website.