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To make the mask: Grind up 1/2 cup of dry oatmeal in a coffee grinder so it's fine like flour. Add in the juice of 1/2 a cucumber - however you want to do it. Blender. Processor. Good ol' fashioned muscle, although that doesn't work quite as well, you end up having to squish it all in your hands and squeeze the juice out. However, this makes for a tantalizing sensory experience. The look, the feel, the smell. Oooh, heaven!
Once you've had your fun, just wash your face with warm water, then rub the mix onto your skin and leave on for a minute or two. Too long, and either 1) it will become, literally, like glue, sticky and tough to wash off or 2) the boy will come home and exclaim something to the likes of: "Ewww, it looks like you dipped your face in a bucket of puke". My bucket of puke no doubt, because I would TOTALLY do that while you're out galavanting around. Disregard the mouth vomit and instead, think of how lovely your skin will look and feel. In the end your skin will thank you. You will feel refreshed. Rejuvenated. Soft & Supple. Like a nipple.