Thursday, April 30, 2009
Don’t you hate that?
Despite not actually sleeping, I did just lie there for a while so I think it did the trick, at least physically. But I was thinking about noise and sounds and the fact that every single moment of every single day lately, at least in my world, is taken up by some kind of background serenade or inner-babble (solve this, fix that, decide this, plan that) or awkward “fill-the-silence-with-bullshit-conversation-kind-of-moments” (you know, like that cashier who asks the same question to the same customers, expecting the same reply and getting the same question back and replying with the same answer)………and so on. I’m just not in the mood for it right now.
Even now, as I sit here by myself, without the usual distractions of television, music, talking… I still hear the perpetual hum of this refrigerator and the stomping overhead and the settling of these new walls and I am finding myself more and more irritated by it all, and I still cannot stop this mind from its ranting. At work, at home, outside, inside……….
I have come to the realization that I need some peace and quiet…and soon. I need to evict some skeletons, finish some projects; just clear out some head space, take a step back, shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably share the silence. I am longing for it, yearning for it, ready to sell my soul for it. I’m ready for it! Bring it!
Monday, April 27, 2009
You know, I have been thinking about it a lot. Real people (real, living, breathing, people) come up with these magical stories…these fabulously-moving, pull-on-your-heartstrings kind of movies, the passion… the romance…the true love, soul-mate kind of fluffy mushy girly stuff… that just gets me every, single time, no matter how many times I relive them as if they were me.
So my question is: why is this not happening in “real life”? Am I missing something here? Am I missing out? No. It’s just not possible. But here I am. And here it goes. I guess I am just going to have to live with this, for now(!) and in the meantime, eat a lot of steamin' popcorn.
Monday, April 20, 2009
And of course, so is the site those words came from! Green is sexy is a chic enviro site, dedicated to making big impact with small changes. They have a bunch of smart Tips, yummy Recipes, and some good-lookin’ Books to cuddle up with on a rainy West Coast day.
Walk and touch peace every moment.
Walk and touch happiness every moment.
Each step brings a fresh breeze.
Each step makes a flower bloom.
Kiss the Earth with your feet.
Bring the Earth your love and happiness.
The Earth will be safe when we feel safe in ourselves.
Kiss the Earth by Thich Nhat Hanh
Thursday, April 16, 2009
And I’m hanging around in my old haunts…”
Try as I might, I cannot ignore this incredible wrenching knot in the pit of my stomach. I thought I was on a roll there for a while…getting on, getting by, and as my mother always sings in her theatrics: “Que sera sera”. What else are you supposed to do when it's clear there's nothing you can do - it's up to fate, or time, or the Gods, whomever, whatever. But, I thought wrong. It was all a façade - a temporary lull in this ridiculous, insatiable, undeniable madness and all it took was a slight push in the