Sunday, August 30, 2009

What Are Yours?

Laura - from Under The Sheets-shhh, posted this idea of five questions (along with some fab answers) on her blog... Keep it going!

1) The best advice I've ever received?
"Never settle" and "Actions speak louder than words"

2) How do you share good news?
I call my family & friends.
3) My most valuable lesson?
Life goes on. Moments are fleeting. Memories are forever. Love deeply. Appreciate who you have in your life while you have them. Because someday they or you will be gone.

4) My perfect evening?
I have so many ideas on this one... but I'd like to repeat an evening I had recently, sitting on a grassy hill on a blanket with my sister and bro-in-law, listening to folk music as the sun sets over the Edmonton cityscape. So perfection is something outdoors, involving music and the people I love. Maybe throw in some red wine. Yes, wine is a very good idea.

5) The key to confidence?
Overcome your personal barriers, fears, assumptions and anything else holding you down. Take on new challenges. Achieve your goals. Realize your strengths. Work on your weaknesses. Surround yourself with brilliant, positive, inspiring and confident people.

What are yours?

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Without Again

Great tune, it's a toe-tapper. And Mark Sasso (swoon) on banjo... This is off their album Mountain Meadows.

The road divides ahead
Just wide awake in bed
Unaware of suspicious feelings happening again

His love went south, and he'll go west
A mountain of song couldn't fill that hole in his chest
That she left when she said that he was like the rest

So get up and get out
What're you down about?
Put it back on the shelf
Just have to go without again

So get up and get out
What're you down about?
Put it back on the shelf
Just have to go without again

The road divides ahead
Just wide awake in bed
Put it back on the shelf
Just have to go without again

Sunday, August 23, 2009

High Fashion Crime Scene

"Employing the power of fashion to disguise or distract,
or to draw our attention away from the otherwise gruesome subjects..."

Half Prada


Oscar's Grass

Melanie Pullen's High Fashion Crime Scenes are undoubtedly unique. I find them fascinating. At the same time, I feel like I almost shouldn't be looking. They incite multiple feelings and emotions in me...and leave a strange taste behind. Beautifully frightening. The ones above are my favourites.

I have a certain appreciation for artists who are not afraid to take risks. To explore the more controversial or 'taboo' subjects. To creatively use their art as a means of portraying a deeper message. Even if what you or I get out of it is completely different than the artist's intent, the message is still out there. Somewhere. Opening doors for discussion, debate, acceptance, understanding.

I like the concept of interpretation. I like the conclusions different people draw out. The variations. We are all so different. Yet still the same, still equal. What means one thing, may mean another. What means nothing, may mean something. What shocks, may not shock. What is acceptable, might be unacceptable. What is beautiful, may just very well be.

You can look at any piece of 'art' and appreciate it, but the question is does it impact or change you? Does it cause you to think? More importantly, feel? I like to know that I am not just coasting through this busy life, numb to it all, unemotionally stuck. Which is why I like her work.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Friday, August 21, 2009

Just Friends

He's a speed dater. He knows I know. He does it while I'm around. I call him on it. He says we're just talking. Just friends. Okay okay, he'll delete it. Whether he actually does is moot. It's not the first time.

I am finding other things out that I'd rather not know. Now that I know, it changes everything. He, in his stupidity, leaves himself wide open. I've seen some of his conversations with other women. I am now wondering how much dialogue I've missed in between these and since, and how much of this past year has been a lie:

Him: R u madd at me? im sorry i should have just told you the truth, mmy girlfriend still lives with me, but we are breaking -up, we have been for a few months now, i relize now i was wrong and just should have been more honest with you , and i dont blame you if you never wanna talk to me again, again im sorry hope i didnt hurt your feelings, cause that was not my intention..hope we can still be friends.....(banging head on wall)....
(what's that honey? I didn't know we were breaking up. Or is this what you say when the lady you're leading on finds out about your girlfriend)
Her: yah that kinda turned me off...well good luck with getting yourself/relationship worked out. sure we can be friends

Him: not to much, dealing with relationship problems.i think we have fallen out of love ,,,just isnt the same anymore, i dunno what to do, maybe its best if we break-up, im not holding much hope for our future at this point.
Her: Aw that sucks, she has just changed from what she was before? Do u think she is cheating on u?
Him: ya well i dunno, i know she hasnt cheated and neither have i but i have lots of, i think she just misses her family in alberta too much

Her: You actually have a gf, don't you? You were really looking for a playmate? I thought you were kidding.
Him: Im kinda guilty on the girlfriend thing..., but yes a playmate would be fun, but not if would wreck are new found friendship

Her: your karma will kick your ass. Put yourself in her shoes....what if she was out seeking a playmate. No friend of mine cheats on his girlfriend

Him: Actually i have never cheated on anyone ever , im guilty of flirting thats all, Sometimes i like to filrt that s all

Is it wrong of me to check up on him? To go behind his back like that? Probably. In fact, I would agree that it is. In normal circumstances, I would not break that trust. However, when your boyfriend spends more time typing on the computer than anything else, including his partner... suspicions are hard to ignore. Call it a woman's intuition. And it was right. Once again. And that, to me, justifies why I did what I did.

I feel like I've lost my faith and trust in men, and the entire concept of relationships, even marriage. With this relationship, past relationships and people I know in relationships who are unhappy, detached, cheating, separating, divorcing...I mean, what the f**k is the point? And yet, I know that this is just a copout. And unrealistic, might I add.

The whole situation has been tossing around in my mind for a while now. The answer seems obvious but it is the coming to terms with it that's the hard part. And first of all, I need to figure out what it is that I want and am willing to settle for.