Monday, May 11, 2009

Filthy Rats

Spiders. You know, I really don't mind them. In fact, I could watch one for hours and hours spinning a beautiful filigree of silk or the flawless slaughter of an unsuspecting morsel. Just stay the hell out of my house and don't you try and get fresh with me. Seriously. If you do, I'm going to atomize the life out of you.

Today was the little buggers day. He wasn't anywhere near me. I just happened to see him while taking out the catbox. I'm not sure what he was doing hangin' around in there, but okay. Everyone has their quirks.

Happened to see him, yeah, what I meant, was he was soooooo unbelievably colossal that I thought for a split second he was actually a rat. I exagerate, I know. But still. Bigger than I've ever, EVER seen in my lifetime. And in my house. Freaky. I couldn't even bring myself to zoom in on him with my camera lens because surely he would jump up and bite my mug off.

"He would never actually bite me"... YEAH. RIGHT. (He sure looks like he's gonna). "It's not poisonous"... UM. REALLY. (Whatever you say). Just stay the hell out of my house, build your web above the door and we can be friends.

All I can say, is I am praisin' Jebus you didn't have your Afghani cousin with you...

1 comment:

Organic Meatbag said...

Spiders make me cry like an old British Fop that is watching Prince Charles floss his teeth with piano string...