Friday, September 17, 2010

Close, but no cigar

"I'm leaving you."

He doesn't know yet. He's gone for the weekend, camping. I'm sorting memories and things: things to keep, things to leave. So many, things. The stereo soothes. Music gets me through...fills the spaces...sparks the soul, letting me know that yes, I am still alive in there.

It's been a long time coming...but we have arrived. We can go no further. I can stay no longer. The decision has been made. Sealed in the heart...

Things are happening faster than I had imagined. Last night, I found (with a little help from my friends♥) an apartment downtown... Available October 1. We did a walkthrough, spoke with the landlord and I am returning tonight to fill out an application.

I am scared out of my mind. Where is my mind? I am dreading the conversation upon his return. Even more so now, as he told me today before he left that his boss was talking about laying him off next week. Though it's not for certain, it still makes me feel like that much more of an ass.

My heart is racing.

My lungs are shrieking.

My cat is shedding.

Valium... Gin... A big fat Cuban... Oh the endlessly tempting options at hand...

You have to consider everyday happens only once. You must not waste a single one. There will come a time when you will want more time so make sure you spend wisely. ~ BP


zachary said...

I'm sorry:(

I hope you pull a nice one out from this:)

Good luck and take care:)

Lijington said...

oh wow...I hope everything works out for the better for you...but what needs to be done has to be done and it's always hard

Mr Monkey said...

Good luck with the talk,I'm a new follower - Please follow me back. For every follower that joins I will be releasing a Unicorn back into the wilds of the New Jersey boardwalk. So please do your part by joining and saving these special creatures. Thanks
Thanks, Mr. Monkey

Trouble.Thinks said...

Thanks... it will work out I know it!

Unicorns are great, I'm all for supporting unicorns