Sunday, October 3, 2010

Emotional Blackmail


We broke up.

Got back together.

I was unsure.

So I signed the lease.

We broke up. Again.

Got back together. Again.

I broke the lease on my way to get the key.

We are where we were a week or two, and far longer, ago.

Nowhere...

What am I doing?
Everyone thinks I'm nuts.
I know I'm nuts...
And I am certainly making some very strange decisions as of late...

Such as...

1) Calling my new landlord at 2:00pm to confirm our scheduled meetup that evening to pick up the key, then calling him back a few hours later to find him unreachable and having him finally answer the phone while on the way to the apartment, to say that you have decided to not take the apartment, causing him to have to turn around, drive all the way back home to pick up your deposit, and drive all the way back...then having to face him, and his wife, in shame and explain the reasoning to your 180 degree change of mind within the last few hours...

Lesson learned: Always give yourself more than a few hours to change your mind. Sleep on it. Talk it out with somebody! Anybody! Let the emotions cool down and then decide...like a normal person. Oh, and count yourself extremely lucky when you get your entire damage/pet deposit back when you break your lease because your new, now ex-, landlords are in fact reasonable people...and you, clearly, are not.

2) Ordering cheques from my bank to my new address and calling the next morning to cancel them only to find out they had already been shipped to the new address, BLANK... and having to open a new bank account and cancel the old bank account because apparently the bank cannot stop fifty numbered cheques from being cashed into your account without turning the entire cheque cashing ability right off...

Lesson learned: Do not put your new address on anything until you are carrying boxes into the front door of your new place... EVER!

And the biggest kicker of them all...

3) Deciding to leave, then choosing to stay. Only because you feel guilty because he is angry and laid off and accusing you of trying to bankrupt him and make him sell his truck and end up on the street because he can't afford the place on his own right now...And only because he says he'll change. He'll quit. He wants to quit. He'll do it for me...

He's not quitting...he continues to be consumed by his addiction and I continue to be consumed...

Lesson learned: How foolish am I...

4 comments:

Mohd Fairuz said...

I'm sure you'll be fine. Good luck girl...

Martin said...

I've learned that about check ordering myself.

Mantramine said...

you are as foolish as me, as beautiful as me, as strong as me, as wise as me, as confused as me, and as real as us. All of us - crazy beautiful.

Trouble.Thinks said...

Thank Mohd, I'm sure you're right! :)

Martin-could you not have given me a heads up then?!!! haaa... The story continued when I went to pay for lunch yesterday & couldn't because my old account was still the default account & I had transferred all my money to my new account & so had to run down the street to the bank to get it all sorted out & run back and pay for lunch. Luckily, it was a great lunch & they said come back anytime.

Mantra- aw, that is lovely...beauty in the crazy...