Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Ah, crisis. Ain't it grand.

Yesterday I, along with my colleagues, took part in an all day Crisis Management class called Communication Strategies for Managing Difficult Situations. “Disarming crisis before it occurs. Diffusing crisis when it does”.

Well, I realized that I could have actually used this class a long time ago. Like before everything I deemed “CRISIS!” actually happened. It was useful and helped to re-align things into perspective again. It got me thinking more on my own level.

One thing we discussed, that really stuck out for me, was vulnerability. How each of us feels vulnerable. Where this vulnerability stems from, what it looks like, and how each of us is different. We even ranked places we feel least and most comfortable. Art gallery and college ranked most comfortable on my list. Least was the doctor’s office. Not surprising, I am sure for many. I mean who wants to lie there naked and exposed, legs strung up in effin’ stirrups while some strange prick shoves cold steel up your vajayjay. (Thanks Oprah,for the lovely petname). But seriously now – this kind of thing is not a crisis, unless I make it one.

I hate vulnerability. What I mean is, I hate the fact that I am vulnerable. It makes me feel weak. It makes me feel inadequate. It makes me feel powerless. But, in the end, in being vulnerable, no crisis ever comes of it and on the odd occasion something does, we deal with it. Plain and simple.

I am old wise enough to know better and know that I am actually in control of my life and can deal with whatever comes my way. I try to keep telling myself that. Some days are better than others. Being vulnerable really just comes down to fear. Fear of rejection or disapproval. Fear of trusting someone, and having that trust shattered. Fear of not living up to expectations. Fear of being alone. Fear of the unknown. Whatever that fear is, we all know that fear is conquerable. We can get past the fear, the vulnerability and everything else holding us back… for they are only as big a crisis as we make them out to be.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain...
~ Frank Herbert, Dune. Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear.

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