Sunday, November 8, 2009

Jesus Goes To The Porn Convention

Good Lord. I've sinned AGAIN! Well by the time I finish this post I will have. Don't worry, I've got confession tomorrow.

I've been biting my tongue on this one for a while, but it keeps rearing its head and I have a disorder. It's called 'Being unable to shut up when it comes to matters involving religion in which one finds amusing, confusing and/or sillynosis'. Any Christian man or woman who is engaging in sexual immorality of any kind is a person in conflict. Are you in conflict? XXXChurch is here to help!

Founded in 2002 by Craig Gross (who according to the website, Gross & the xxxchurch believe what Billy Graham believes- which I find a bit curious, as wouldn't "most Christians" say something along the lines of what God teaches, or what the Bible says, right off the bat? Isn't God the focus? Anyway, minor detail. The Great Billy Graham beliefs can be found here), XXXChurch is "designed to bring awareness, openness and accountability to those affected by pornography".


So what this means, is a team of Jesus-lovin' individuals will show up at your next porn event - such as the Vancouver Taboo Naughty But Nice Sex Show, handing out bibles and spreading the good news that Jesus loves them no matter what their involvement in porn, to help those addicted and offer advice to those who are merely tempted. Because we all know, watching porn here and there, livening up your sex life with some toys or whatnots, or heaven-forbid fantasizing while you masterbate is going to lead to a full blown addiction, or better yet, a trip to hell.


Don't get me wrong, I think this whole idea of an outreach for individuals who are indeed struggling is okay, but what the hell, why not set your booth up outside the doors, and mingle with the rest of the church folk, where you're not infringing on the rights of porn-friendly people, and you can feel safe knowing your eyes will not wander to the scantily clad bimbo's booty as she passes by (a sin!) or ponder the use of a rainbow dildo on display at the next booth over (a sin!)... I mean really...

This is a billion dollar industry, world-wide. It's not going anywhere. Sure, maybe you need to secure your computer so your 12 year old isn't watching it, and seek counselling if you're spending all day in front of the screen or the credit card company is after you to pay back the money you spent renting every movie at the adult video store. And yeah, if you are a woman tired of being degraded and trying to get out of the industry, by all means contact this church.

But it is what it is.

Some people like sex, others like sex toys, and some even like sex with the same sex.. (sin! sin! sin!) Some people like tattoos, which according to various religious groups is basically a sin and often results in a quote from Leviticus: "Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos." So is there a TattooChurch out there somewhere, sending out their drones for the tattoo and body art conventions?

I just say let people be people.

Craig Gross takes on Ron Jeremy in the Great Porn Debate (more vids under xxxchurch)

Jesus goes to the porn convention!
(the absurdity of it all)

10 comments:

Auburn said...

I Agree!
People who are too preocupied with that other people are doing need to 'get a life' or a hobby, their choice, of course.

Grant said...

This reminds me of a topic on twitter. #ClosetedChristianGayPorn

Dave "Loose Cannon" Wills said...

Wow. Who would have thought that such a church existed? Interesting...

Jones? said...

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radiogael said...

Yeah, they totally would want to save me, being a massive sinner and everything. Then again, when you meet these people, who use the intensity of their religious beliefs (focused, like here, on the actions and past-times of consenting adults, as opposed to actually taking on a bit topic like homelessness, child abuse or helping people with addiction problems) then it becomes kinda clear that they are trying to...how can I say this...fill a gap where a 'personality' might usually be?

Maybe that's just me who thinks that, then again, who doesn't want to worship in a church founded on busybodyness (an adorable word, an irritating concept)

Rant over. :)

Trouble.Thinks said...

Nice rant! I do wonder about the focus of these groups sometimes...

The Twitter thing might have flown over my head, however I get what you're getting at.

It is a strange & interesting world.

Tim DeMoor said...

My (old) pastor here in Florida had JUST spoken to us about when he was invited to attend one of those Great Porn Debates a few months ago, in fact. The funny thing is that he said Ron Jeremy was actually a decent guy if people would just look past his profession.

Grant said...

People were posting fake names for gay christian porno titles and then tagging them with #ClosetedChristianGayPorn.

For instance...

"Duder-on-a-me"
"Bible Thumping"
"Matthew, Mark, Luke & Jon"
"Passion of the Christ"

Trouble.Thinks said...

The whole judging books by the cover thing eh!

I got the gist, hehe... I guess I needed some background info. Or something.

Misery Marketing said...

If the christians are right about there being a hell then Im fucked. But seriously what father could do that to their "children"? Anyway most people are in hell on earth. Especially porn stars. Im sure there are healthy well balanced porn stars out there who never got raped or molested but probably most of them have had obvious trauma that has distorted their self perception.